Connecting to change style

In my last blog, I discussed Daniel Goleman’s six leadership styles and mapped them along an X/Y axis to illustrate the balance between control and development. Goleman’s research on leadership effectiveness—evaluating factors like desired outcomes, employee engagement, and satisfaction—shows that the most successful leaders are adept in at least four of these styles and can adapt seamlessly between them based on the situation and the needs of their team. Goleman emphasizes empathy and emotional intelligence as essential skills for reading the room and adjusting one's approach. As Steven Stein, Ph.D., author of EQ Leader, explains, “Empathy, the ability to recognize, understand, and appreciate the way others feel, is a crucial component in building strong interpersonal relationships.”

Charles Duhigg, in Supercommunicators, builds on this concept by categorizing conversations into three primary types: practical (problem-solving), emotional (expressing feelings), and social (relationship-building). Recognizing which type of conversation you're in allows you to respond in a way that best meets the moment’s needs. In practical or problem-solving conversations, the goal is to clarify and address tasks or decisions, often focusing on logistics and forward steps. Emotional conversations involve sharing personal feelings and seeking understanding or support. Here, the focus is on empathy and connection. Social conversations, meanwhile, are about building rapport and often include small talk and shared interests.

Mastering these conversational types enhances our ability to flex between leadership styles, fostering stronger connections and more responsive leadership.

Leaders, how do you adapt your communication style to connect more effectively?