Self-Directed vs. Developer Led
This past week, I had some engaging conversations about leadership training curriculum, during which someone asked me how the “cycle” works. They followed up by asking whether the cycle is designed for personal growth or for training others. The discussion was fantastic, allowing me to explore and explain the process from both perspectives.
Originally, the cycle was created as a systematic framework to help leaders develop others. It consists of six steps: relational connection, exposure to truth, inspiration or motivation for action, processing growth and change, discipline toward maturity, and finally, developing influence.
During the conversation, I realized that this same system can be applied to personal development. However, I do feel it’s most effective as a tool to develop others. Let’s break it down:
1. Relational Connection
The first step involves building connections, and there are several ways to approach this. One obvious method is seeking out relationships with people who excel in areas where I want to grow. Many accomplished individuals are not only willing to share their expertise but often enjoy “paying it forward.”
For instance, John Maxwell, as a young pastor, wrote letters to the leaders of the 10 largest and fastest-growing churches in the country. He offered each of them $100 for an hour of their time—an extraordinary amount 50 years ago. Several accepted, and their insights profoundly shaped his future growth and success. Maxwell’s story highlights the value of learning directly from those who’ve walked the path before us.
For those without access to such personal mentorship, books provide another form of relational connection. Many influential leaders write books that distill their wisdom and perspective, offering a one-sided but highly valuable relationship. For about $12, you can immerse yourself in the thinking of great minds without traveling. For example, I haven’t met Bob Goff personally, but after reading his books, I feel like we’re friends.
2. Exposure to Truth
The next step involves confronting the truth, which is often more challenging in one-sided relationships, like those formed through books. Still, it’s possible if you’re willing to put in some uncomfortable work. Soliciting feedback from trusted individuals who know you well can reveal insights into your blind spots.
Let’s say I’m reading Everybody Always by Bob Goff and want to improve how I love difficult or “creepy” people. Simply reading the book might not expose me to the full truth. Even if I call Bob (his phone number is in the back of the book), we don’t have the kind of relationship that allows him to give me meaningful feedback. However, if I ask my wife, kids, or coworkers, “On a scale of 1–10, how well do you think I love difficult people?” and follow up with, “What would it take for me to improve from a 4 to a 6?” I’ll gain actionable insights to guide my growth.
3. Motivation or Inspiration for Action
Motivation is essential for taking action, especially in self-directed development. While intrinsic motivation often drives this process, Daniel Pink emphasizes the importance of purpose—the desire to contribute to something greater than ourselves. When we see our efforts making a meaningful impact, it fuels our passion and commitment, propelling us forward in personal development.
Next week, I’ll conclude my “52 blogs in 52 weeks” series by exploring the last three steps: processing growth and change, discipline toward maturity, and developing influence. I’ve become convinced that this framework is incredibly effective for developing others and holds great potential for self-directed growth. However, I also believe that sustainable development is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve entirely alone.
So, leaders, I’ll leave you with this question: Who are you developing, and who is developing you?