Thanksgiving
As I sat down to write my 48th blog of the year on the morning after Thanksgiving—right on track to hit my goal of publishing 52 in 2024—I reflected on a simple but profound question: What am I most proud of professionally?
Looking back on 25 and a half years of work, I’m struck by how much my career has shaped me. I started the police academy in the summer of 1999 after leaving full-time studies, and since then, I’ve experienced some remarkable moments: arresting murder suspects, training officers who became influential leaders, saving lives, and receiving awards. I’ve taught and lectured at institutions where I once studied and at renowned organizations like the NYPD. I’ve built, led, and sold a business. I’ve preached in countries around the globe and in a prominent American mega-church.
These experiences fill me with gratitude and humility. The journey has been awe-inspiring, but as I think about what I’m most proud of, it’s not the achievements themselves. Instead, it’s something deeper: a six-part cycle of ministry and leadership development that has emerged from my work.
This framework represents years of learning, teaching, and mentorship. It’s been shaped by authors like John Maxwell and John Townsend, by colleagues, bosses (the great ones and the difficult ones), my students at ALLI, and even by you, my readers. Once I recognized this cycle, I started seeing it everywhere—in ministry, leadership, and life. It’s become a tool to bring clarity and simplicity to the complexities of leadership. While creating this framework is a point of pride, what brings me the most joy is seeing it lived out in those I’ve had the privilege to lead.
One story stands out.
About six years ago, I found myself in a pivotal meeting. My boss, his boss (an executive leader), and a department head from another area sat across from me. My boss announced he was leaving for a new role, and the department head was transitioning to launch a new location. The executive leader turned to me and asked if I would take on the responsibility of combining two major departments and leading them as one.
Though I tried to project confidence, I was still early in the leadership learning curve and eager to be seen as competent. As the conversation unfolded, I proposed structural changes to benefit the organization and support the 13 direct reports impacted by the shift. At one point, the executive asked me directly: Can you lead the number two under the outgoing department head? Without hesitation, I said, “Absolutely—and not only can I, but I want to.”
That number two was a fiery, passionate leader with a history of conflict with management. But there was no one I wanted to work with more. Six years later, he’s one of the most effective leaders in our organization. Watching him grow into the leader he is today has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my career.
Developing a leader who surpasses you is one of the greatest accomplishments in leadership. As I look back, I see every step of the six-part cycle in our relationship. Even now, he often leads me through the same framework, which is incredible.
Here’s how the six steps played out in our journey:
For the first six months of working together, I focused on getting to know him. He had a deep passion for justice and wasn’t afraid of conflict if it meant doing what was right. I quickly recognized his boldness as a gift in leadership.
This step was where trust began to form. One day, he burst into my office, unapologetically admitting he’d “blown up” at an intern for failing a project. I asked him, “What’s the mission of our organization, and did you accomplish it in that interaction?” That conversation laid the foundation for future discussions about what he wanted to achieve and how to evaluate his actions.
3. Inspire and Motivate Action from Truth
With this leader, motivation wasn’t an issue—he often needed more brakes than gas. As he processed truth, his goals began to expand, shifting toward longer-term and bigger-picture outcomes.
4. Process Change or Impact from Truth
Three years ago, I stepped out of my role to embrace a new challenge. One reason was recognizing that I had become a limiting factor in his growth. Even now, as peers, this step remains central to our relationship. Helping him identify opportunities for change and supporting his growth through coaching and encouragement continues to shape our dynamic.
In the Bible, Moses’ father-in-law advises him to delegate leadership to others to avoid burnout. I’ve always seen this leader’s potential to lead at the highest levels. Over time, he’s grown in wisdom, love for people, and spiritual maturity. He’s removed obstacles like the anger that once caused him to “blow up” at others. As he prepares for a major promotion, it’s clear his biggest growth has been in perseverance and consistency.
6. Develop Influence
John Maxwell famously said, Leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less. Watching this leader grow in influence has been inspiring. He excels in Knowing Self, Knowing Others, Managing Self, Managing Relationships, Developing People, Building Teams and Solving Problems—skills that enable him to navigate the six steps of the cycle with ease.
As 2024 winds down, I plan to dedicate my final four blogs to exploring the development of influence. But today, I wanted to express gratitude. I’m thankful for this leader and the lessons he’s taught me. I’m thankful for the clarity of this cycle and its potential to help others. And most of all, I’m thankful for the opportunity to lead and to learn from the leaders around me.